PISSED.

freak . today is just not my day .
freaking pissed . so freaking pissed .

pissed. upset. discontented. disappointed.
frustrated. anxious. irritated. agitated.
remorseful. regret. worried. hurt.

you name it .
i have it all today.
i don't know what to say;
perhaps i just needed a place to say it out.

verbally 'attacked' by some b .. i mean, someone today,
yet i couldn't defend myself due to unforeseen circumstances
it's so freaking unfair, no one reliable was there .

(& PS: this was just ONE of the things that happened today.)

& at the point i was going bonkers,
no one was there .
people who said they would be there weren't,
well, at least two were .
people who didn't say they would be there,
obviously were not -____-

so i would like to thank my bestie,
for being there for me to vent my frustrations .
thanks jieting :D
(but it's a two-way street la huh ..)
although she called at the right time,
she was talking about something else ..
but it's okay, at least she kept her promise (:

& shasha :D
although we didn't really say much,
i could sense your pain too .
it will blow over soon, hopefully ..
thanks syairah! (:
girlfriends rule the world!~

crazy mood swings?
whatever you say .
bet you would react like that if you were me .
i HATE human politics .
i HATE the way the human world operates with such drama .

oh well, i guessed my mood has been calmed down by these two buddies :D
& of course, blogger (:
yesyesyes . i vent it out here .
so thanks .

actually those people who said that they would be there,
erm, can't blame them la huh ..
they are very busy now ..
yeah, and at least they were quite concerned before their exams :D
so erm thanks cheehow, tzeyang and tianjun :D
for caring as seniors and my friends ..
at least from time to time they would sms,
to ensure i was okay .. good enough . (:

well, i can't be so naive either,
i mean, out of so many who say they'll be there,
how many actually do keep their words?

yeah, i do realise i'm acting a little childish here .
why the hell am i so upset about some stupid words?
why the hell am i so upset about some insensitive people?
just because they failed my expectations?
maybe i was too naive . think too highly .
i'm asking for it .
why care so much about them in the first place?
you would only feel disappointed towards people
whom you care for .
when significant people disappoint you,
only then you will feel the pain .
why care so much?

ain't i childish? yes . naive is the word .
spot-on . i'm stupid .

please don't probe .
i'm okay . or at least i will be .
i just need somewhere to let it out .
i'm going crazy .
please don't ask me if i'm talking about you .
i'm saying, people .
so it's not refering to only one .
so don't ask, i'm afraid i can't answer .
thanks .


{flipping through those stuff when i was doing my packing today,
memories and thoughts flashed across my mind .
i would like to say;
you are a very special friend who holds a very special place in my heart,
and which, will never be replaced.
i will never forget you. thank you, my friend (:


(please dont get the wrong idea, this special friend has got nothing to do with today.)