am[m] i[i] really[y] happy[y] ?[?]

well, just came back from choir practice and in a very blue mood right now.....dunnoe why....but i feel that my life is like a living hell ever since the second semester started.....when will this hell end?? i'm really sick and tired of living this kind of life.....ever since the start of the second semester, i've been feeling this kind of loneliness which i really...H-A-T-E. my friends had done a lot to make me feel better....but....sometimes i feel like as if it's the end of the world..... i'm rather happy when i'm with my friends....at least they make me laugh and make me go crazy.....but sometimes, even with their presence, i feel very lonely..... it just seemed to be like as if i've lost something which totally changed my life.... workload getting heavier each day and sometimes i really feel as if i couldnt breathe.... i cleared all my overdue homework liao..... now just finished the new ones? i H-A-T-E being alone.... but nobody seems interested to beside me.... so....wad to do? my maths slacking liao.....dunno wad happened....my lit? worst. i dun seem to enjoy my literature lessons nowadays.... i only enjoy my english lessons....(provided there's miss i mean mdm fazlin) my geog? dun tok abt it. other subjects dun hve to say...all the same.... i'm trying to study and get better grades.....but somehow, something seems to be holding me back..... happiness? wad is it? i dunno. laughter? wad is it? i dunno. smiles? i have no idea. joy? i dunno too. this four words had been in my dictionary in the first semester..... but they somehow have ran away ever since the second semester started..... i'm trying to get them back. i'm just a simple girl who seeks fun at the moment...... no more that gal everyone used to know anymore......